Second run in three days. I must be mad, I'm rather surprised that I've kept up with it so far. Although its only been three days I'm proud that I've done some exercises, starting to get fit. Although i only have a week left of summer so i guess I've left it a bit late to start now as my job will take up all my time, sitting at a desk, putting on weight and getting even more unfit.

So coming back from my run, my legs now ache and I've still got pains from where i pulled my glastrocnemius ( yes i did GCSE P.E :) ) two days previous. I've given up on the idea already although i have that cool ipod thing to strap it to my arm so i don't have to hold it and i also live in the countryside so i wont be seen by anyone when I'm out of breath and nearly on the floor. Although saying that, one guy cleaning up the horse stables took his time to turn around, give me a cheeky look and say hello. Now my headphones where in so i gave a polite smile and ran along, trying to hold my breath so i didn't look utterly silly. Lets hope i don't see him again, perhaps I'll choose a different time to run next time.... If theres a next time.

Boys and their cars.

These cars are gorgeous arent they?

Why do boys have so much pride in their car? Why do they do it up so much it doesn't look anything like how it started?

Soo i got in this guys car earlier today and i was literally sitting on the floor. It was so low down. Now why would you wont to be so low that you feel every bump in the road. Even a stone felt like a massive boulder, with the car making you jump all over the place, head skimming the ceiling and all the rest. What made it worse was that really loud sound coming from the engine. I know guys like to drive fast but the noise gets louder and louder you can't hear a thing they are saying let alone hear your own thoughts. I swear my ear drums were going to explode! There was music on to. Now whats the point in the music? If you can't hear the other one talk then your not gonna hear the music? It just makes it worse. I give credit that the music wasn't something like dumbstep with the heavy beat that goes straight through your body and fucks the beat of your heart up.

I now get why guys have their music blaring out and their windows down. It masks that awful loud noise coming from the engine. I'm not even sure if it was the engine? I have no idea about cars but i do know that i don't want that awful sound because yes i do wont my ear drums.

I dread to think what my mum thought when she heard it pull up to my house. Thinking i've been driven home by one of them chavs who has no life, whom parks up at McDonalds on a friday night and does what exactly? Eat a big mac?

Bless boys!

Parties

Party, Party, Party.
I went to a party last night at 'Charlies angels' Brj. Well aren't they fun! The inside has had a few quid spent on it, with a dj in a booth. Although the chairs falling apart? and masking tape on the stage. Wouldn't you put the money to good use?

Now, why is it that at every party there is... The inseparable pair all over each other on the dancefloor who will clearly wake up in the morning next to eachother thinking wtf happened last night! The young girl passed out on the floor outside who has no sense of alcohol limits who has to be carried to a taxi or even home. The little girls in thier mums high heels, tripping over and falling into everyone with thier heel stuck in the mud. The older guy who goes for these drunken young girls. The alcohol fueled boys who start on eachother and then channel thier anger into the opposed. To cause an Huntingdon v's Peterborough fight. Then after the huntingdon 'hardnuts' have one guy knocked out cold on the floor and the other with a bleeding nose. Unclear whether broken or not. They are still wanting to hunt them down although its clear they have lost and will deffinately loose! The police that turn up when the fight is over and casualy make their way to the victims of the fight having a good ole chit chat. The ambulance that was called a 'taxi' by a drunken women and then me. Home at a resonable time, can't sleep and work a few hours later.

Now! What a lovely party?

Childhood friends

Its always nice to catch up with someone you haven't spoken to in a long time. Especially when they was in your life for a while and you share memories. Talking to an old family friend brings back a smile, knowing that you wasn't forgotten. The bike rides, the sleep overs, being chased by angry farmers, making crop circles, Christmas and just hanging out with both families.

You loose sense of time when your catching up with a friend because of all the stories and the time you've missed between now and then. Speaking about what you've been up to and what you doing, you always manage to dig up some secrets or gossip to have a good laugh about.

Tonight has been good to catch up for me and I've laughed hard :) x

Results Day.

On Monday night i was thinking to myself about how I'll struggle to sleep tonight and how thoughts would fill my mind as i turn my bedroom light out and shut my eyes. But just the opposite happened. I fell asleep straight away, which hardly ever happens to me. So i was double shocked but pleased that i wasn't worrying myself over what lies in the envelope and what would happen at the worst or best. I guess it was because my mind was made up and my future had 4 paths to go down. I had prepared my future so well.

I had one placement at Huntington college to study AAT level 2, A placement at Peterborough collage to study business level 2 or 3 I'm not sure which, St peters sixth form which would be resorted to in desperate hope as sixth form isn't for me and finally a job to become a trainee accountant in Ramsey. So i guess i did well and had no worries for my next two years and through doing either of these things would and could open new doors for me.

Awaking Tuesday (yesterday) morning to my mother opening my bedroom door with a polite 'Morning' as i awoke from the dead, when the thought hit me. It was results day. The day year 11's from across the world had been waiting for and also to my surprise i was not worried nor nervous, which i was pleased about.

So i got up had a shower and got myself ready and before i had the chance to sit down my mum had turned up to take me to school. On the drive there my mum wished me the best and then i was at school. My mum parked up and said she would wait for me in the car.

Walking to the school doors i wasn't nervous. It was only until i got inside the front doors that it hit me and i got butterflies in my stomach. I marched into the hall to see all familiar faces, some crying and some smiling. I received my envelop of my maths teacher who wished me the best and then i went to see a few friends to congratulate them and wish them the best. Then marched my way back outside to my mum waiting to open my results together.

I didn't know what to expect while pulling out the white paper with the pink highlighted grades. I'd done it! All the revising and panicking through exams had paid off. I was pleased with my grades. But to be honest i didn't have a rush of joy nor sorrow. I was content. I then rang my new job as this is now my future and let them know my grades and was congratulated down the phone.

To celebrate i went to lewis' house where he had a few of us over, which was nice. I got quite drunk by playing beer pong which i couldn't manage to finish so i made Jake finish my game. We lost! But i kept my drunkenness on the down low. Although i got pushed of my chair outside into an ashtray, BBQ looking thing which cut my arm. I wasn't happy! And Scott tried to hide the fact he pushed me of my chair by saying i was just to drunk. So, so kind!

All in all I'm pleased with my results as i have now secured my future and have a job to as i can learn and earn. :).

Well done to all year 11's I'm proud of you :).

Reality

Watching reality TV programs always makes your life seem so much more boring. All their lives are full to the brim with drama. If its a celebrity TV show especially something to do with Katie price then you are never to far away from endless snaps from the paps. Their lives are so busy they wouldn't have the time to sit back and browse facebook or right a blog, they pay someone to do it for them.

I guess their lives are full because they have the money to do things. To much money in which they invest in making their own brand of ipod? which I'm sure if overly priced. i think you could put the jewels on the ipod yourself for a couple of quid? plus have it unique to your own taste. Most celebs have made their own fame and money, 'pat on the back' to them. At least they aren't spending tax payers money getting drunk and buying their next red carpet dress. As their red carpet dress isn't just a well deserved cheeky buy of the Internet but a million dollar glitzy dress from a high-end designer.

Why is it that celebs are always doing something? But looking on my own life all i seem to do is well nothing. I sit around watching TV and vegetating although i did work all last week. How fun work? Not designing my own clothes or perfume range, or walking down a red carpet the closest Ive come to one of them was prom! Nor getting my hair and nails done. Just crawling around a field picking up other peoples rubbish.

Bore.. I cannot write blogs so i gave up for a little while as I've been working or seeing friends. Results tomorrow!! BRICKING IT. x

Working

Well i thought work was easy but i got that completely wrong!


Do not, i repeat NEVER be a litter picker especially for Secret Garden Party. Its the most tedious, achy job ever!
Working two 9am-6pm days has officially killed me, im exhausted. But i did manage to do it when kerri didn't bless her :L. What a complete whimp! She woke up this morning bright and early but left, went home to her bed and most probably slept! What a lucky person. While charlotte, lucy, luke and myself and well fluffy from time to time was back on the same massive field on our hands and knees picking litter. Not just any litter but dog ends! I've never hated smokers so much in my life! If your going to smoke then atleast use a frigging ash tray please! It would of been alright but 'The Lady' decided she didnt wont them there? After a festival had just been in the field its the least you expect.
So two days has been spent on one field going up and down, although the day went quite fast today without kerri's moaning ;). Just when we thought we was finished and picked every single fag butt we came across a new bit and so our relief turned into torture.


From these two days we have tried to have a shout out on kiss radio, find some disgusting things such as: two tampons and a condom wrapper WITH the condom laying beside it with a knot in. Talk about class. A bush? Was you really that desperate to wait untill you got back to your tent?
Urgh, gross, gross, gross. And ofcourse we found some money :). I found £8.80 in total where the rest found a few pence or quid. I have an eye for moneys or well im a tramp that searches the floor, oh dear.


So im back AGAIN tomorrow, back in the fields of Secret Garden Party although litter picker is thankfully over or i wouldn't be back again although from fluffy 'its money'.


Smiles all around and now bedd :) x

Be a shepard not a sheep

Urgh! I dislike copy cats with a passion.. There is no need for someone to copy someone else.

Everyone has their own sense of style/looks ect. So why alter yourself to how or who someone else is. You can't be a better version of them your just fake. So fake! What is the need to be something your not? You just need to find yourself and be confident in your own skin. Be a Shepard and start trends don't be a sheep and follow a trend.
 
Since i was young i've seen people copying my family and others around me. It's just so annoying because some of the smallest things that have been copied have made the biggest impact on their and my lives. What makes it worse is when you've told someone who you thought was close and then they go out and get the item before you've got the chance to start saving up! or gets the bigger and better version of what you wont.

There isn't much i can say on this topic but the fact it annoys me that someone who hasn't found who they are yet or found their own style copies and mold into someone else. Don't get me wrong its good to have an idol or like something your friend has and then either get something similar or take a fashion tip. But don't copy them! You don't have the same body as them so the clothes that fit them may not fit you or the hair cut that suits them may not suit you.

It became an obsession of someone my family 'knew' to have everything that we had which caused upset and anger. This person became so obsessed it was unbelievable which has now caused conflict between two families which were once friends. This is a bad example and can show people what happens when you go to far so the conflict and awkwardness are left to haunt you. You can't be them so i wouldn't bother trying.

Copying someone kind of comes into the same topic as changing for someone. Which is twice as bad.

Don't change who you are for someone else, don't let them mold you into someone they wont you to be because you'll become a stranger to yourself and you'll be fake once again. Once you've changed for someone they will expect certain things from you and try to then alter your friendship groups and the way you act. You can't and shouldn't be anyone but yourself.

It's so funny and sad to watch people be someone they're not around others. Especially a boyfriend. To be friends with someone for years and see who they are and them to turn around and be fake and completely different so that a boy notices them. If a boy doesn't love you for who you are then they aren't worth it.

Things my family and myself have been copied with:
Kitchen - sink, tiles, table, floor, colour scheme.
Living room - colour scheme, curtains, cushions, table,
Piercings
Hair cut and colour
Family car
Car that was wonted
Phone
Clothes.......

The list is small but the impact was big.

Cooking

Today i cooked me and muma some dinner. Which only happens on the odd occasion. But today i thought i'd be good and cook us some mince and nachos as mother is working late today, so when she walks through the door dinner would be awaiting.


Taking the mince and nachos out the oven looked yummy, with all the cheese melted on top with jalapenos and salsa sauce. After plating them up and sitting down to eat it i decided i don't like my own cooking. Especially if its meat or eggs because I'm scared of giving myself and others undercooked food which results in food poisoning. So my great achievement slowly deteriorated into something that made me feel sick, so most was left. One big fail that was. Although my mum ate it all, so it couldn't of been that bad, i guess?


So i've come to a conclusion of why i never cook and it simply avoids the whole episode of me spending my time cooking and then sitting down and feeling sick where i just push the food around my plate. Which on a bad day could result in not eating an evening meal in my whole entire life which then could result in weight loss and terrible problems.


I know i've got to learn how to cook different things and learn to like what i cook as:
1. when I'm older i wont have my parents there to slave away over a hot stove for me.
and
2. I agreed to cook my nan and step grandad a roast from scratch last time they was over and they are visiting this evening.. So lets see how that goes down when and if i do cook for them.


Do i or don't i....

Rat trap.

One well deserved relaxing evening. After one long day at workies. Don't get me wrong i'm glad to have a job as i get some hard earned dollar dollar, and well some people in this world are 'unique'. What people wear, who they are dating/married to or genrally thier manner of doing something. It's interesting to watch them wonder around in thier own little bubble much like i'd do while shopping myself. I'm sure someone has got their kicks from me :).

One thing i suffered from today is my 'rat trap' of a mouth. Saying something that siprals and well you might aswell dig yourself a whole. Today it came to my attention that something that i had been said over facebook about someone else wasn't aloud? and so im not aloud to have a converstaion involving someone i work with and apparently it was in my contract. We all Learn from our own mistakes and by saying someone had disappeared was wrong. Im bound once again to keeping my gob sealed shut so that i don't get myself into anymore trouble with someone closer to home.

I have got one little nit to pick. People who purposely tell that one person who without a doubt has no conscious control over thier mouth and before you know it the words everywhere. I just hate it. They act all innocent when they find out that thier 'secret' thats not even anything secret, interesting nor the truth is all over the place. Well you shouldn't of told them in the first place! I know exactly why you told them and the reason is because you was attention seeking. You just wonted everyone talking and thinking about you so you was the cenrte of attention for once. Then when you find out that your 'secrets' out you then become a drama queen making out that its the end of the world and that your so sad everyone's talking about you. urgh! Grow up and get a life.

Nit picked.

Bahh, humbug

Sitting on one sofa on my own while my parents share the other sofa. Isn't life exciting.
No company, no cuddles, no warmth especially now the rat dog has ditched me to go and sleep upstaris on my bed which he thinks is actually his. He doesn't seem pleased when i enter my own bedroom for two days every fortnight, so yes im forced to share with him. He is such a jealous dog, your not aloud to stroke another dog or even hug someone. All your affection has to go to him or he will sit and nudge or scratch you. Plus he isn't even cute! A chiwawa mixed with a minature pinscher, oh what a sight for sore eyes.

One big sofa for me, all on my own with no company. It's these quiet friday nights that need to be shared but im afraid i haven't found the right person to share them with. So i'm forced to me on my lonesome where of course all i do is spend my time on facebook reading the latest bitching with a cup of hot tea :). Facebook is now the route of all evil or depression. I don't know how we get addicted to it, me being one. There isn't actually much to do but go through other peoples profiles, well it does give you a chance to be nosey and find out the lastest gossip. Oh course everyone finds everything out on facebook. It's what gets the gossip rolling.

On the other hand i think im happy to be in on a friday night as if i do go out i have to come home and living in Abbots Ripton does have a disadvantage as you have to rely on your parents who aren't so keen on coming all the way to get you at god knows what time and god knows what place. Also if i go out and be naughty by having an alcoholic beverage then im forced to wake up early with a hang over and work my way through a seven and a half hour shift at dunelm where i don't get in till half six in the evening. Oh the joy in having a job although pay day is fantasic :).

All i seem to do is rant and rave on this blog. I feel sorry for my (if any) readers. So back to my life siting on a sofa, reading facebook, drinking tea and watching my family while the parents laugh. x